Indoor Assembly

Unless it was pouring down with rain or snowing heavily morning assembly at my secondary school was held outdoors.  We would gather in our houses in columns, small boys at the front and graded to the big boys at the rear, which fanned out from the steps leading to the terrace. On the terrace, to our left, the school choir assembled.  Just to our right stood the prefects and behind them in a line the teaching staff.

At 8.55AM the master of ceremonies Major B. O'Kelly, would set off from his position at the top of the terrace steps, pass the line of staff and report to the Headmaster, Mr Glister. 

Mr Glister was a tall imposing figure and he would walk briskly to the top of the steps and open the proceedings with the words 'Good morning school' to which we replied 'good morning, sir'.

The hymn would be announced and often had many verses. Mr Glister would announce which verses were to be omitted.  The lone trumpeter gave us the tune and then the singing commenced. Chaos prevailed as the school sang at a different speed to the choir and  also sang verses which were to be omitted.

We judged the morning a success when the hymn was abandoned before the final verse. The remainder of the morning service was conducted in an orderly fashion. The fun started again when Mr Glister made his announcements.  A favourite trick was to hide a small boy behind a large boy and for the former to make the latter laugh. The imposition of a detention was immediate.

At the end of assembly Mr Glister swept off followed closely by the staff, leaving the Major to dismiss the school. Orders for departure were barked out which related to various locations round the school - North Wing, Hurst House, the huts etc.  Unfortunately this resulted in a manoeuvre more complicated than the spin wheel at the Trooping of the Colour as pupils from each of the houses crossed paths. 

One morning at the height of a hot summer we were instructed to go to an indoor assembly.  The reason for this unprecedented departure from tradition became apparent when we saw the flagpole, situated at the top of the terrace steps, being wound down.  Fluttering in the breeze were a bra and matching panties which had been nailed  firmly to the mast the previous evening.  The poor Major was beside himself at this affront to the moral standards of the school.  The culprits were never identified by the Major although rumour was rife. We did wonder where the underwear came from.